Monday, August 22, 2011

Module 4 - Chapter 14...

Watching the video I think immediately of my ex.  I think to myself that if I had owned who I was fully (I tried to do it a little bit) that the relationship would have ended even sooner.  I would have been outspoken and would not have tolerated some of the shit that I did...

With my current he encourages me to be myself, even though I don't think he understands who that is...

I think the biggest problem is that for me to be me it has me living a certain lifestyle.  He wants everything to be us and together, but my philosophy is that if I can't afford it then perhaps I don't need it.  Working myself to death to just pay the bills isn't right.

I have to say that it never really occurred to me to just not ask what other people I care about thought.  I generally ask and then if my feelings are hurt I get upset.  Or I just refuse to ask at all, but that's hard to do sometimes.

Secret Sauce Writing Exercise:  Whose Opinion Matters to You?

  • When you worry what "everybody" thinks, who is your everybody?  Write down the names of the key people who would have an opinion about your Leap.
Mom (if she were alive)
Ryan
Krystal
Judy
Sarah

  • Now take a gander at your list.  Of the people on your list, whom do you most admire?  Whose opinion really matters?
I would say that I admire my mother the most but she is deceased.  I know she'd be the most critical of everyone on the list.  I think a close second is Ryan.  Everyone else I believe would "get over it" and be fine, he is the only person who might not like who I really am and I worry about that.

  • Of the people left on your list, who do you trust to help guide you - not out of fear but out of faith?  Who really believes in you?  Who sees your potential and wants to help foster it?
I think that Judy & Krystal would see this but may initially be trying to think to practically.  Asking questions of, "well what are you going to do until this and this happens".  Being that the relationship with my sister is the way it is I don't think she would stop me, but I can't say she would support me - I think she would just end up being neutral and tell me what she honestly thought and to just go for it if that's what I wanted to do.

I have to say that no one on the list I think really is a mentor.  The people I would count as mentors I am not as close to and I don't worry that they would criticize or otherwise not support me.  Lissa & Alice I know both would and I consider both of them mentors, also Cindy & Lori I feel would support me as would Nicole  (both of them) and Angel (both of them).

Thinking of mentors, I have to think of where/what it is I want to do...
  • Reiki Teacher (Alice, Lori, Starlene, Cindy)
  • Holistic Nurse
  • Yoga Instructor/Therapist
  • Bellydance Instructor (Angel, Dolphina)
  • Certified Herbalist
  • Licensed Massage Therapist
  • Store Owner/Artist/Crafter
I only have mentors for a few things but don't know anyone else who has "made it big" or been successful personally in these other fields.  I will have to do some research.

Considering paying a mentor.  While I need payment for my time and understand that same need in others, I also know that right now my financial situation will not allow it.  Right now my goal is to get some material things squared away to enable me to save money for myself and my family.  To be able to buy those extra things and take that time off.  But right now that isn't looking as though it will happen for a good year and then I will have 240.00 a month extra (from finishing off paying smaller debts) and should have made a dent in some of my other bills.  I want a car, eventually a house, and of course to receive all of the training I want - but it will all take time and money...




Embracing my dreams one day at a time!

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