I'm a traditional non-conformist, a strange bird by my account. I appreciate tradition, some that is, but I value thinking out of the box and doing something that works.
Secret Sauce Writing Exercises: What's Your Risk Tolerance?
- How risk-averse do you consider yourself?
I will say that I will definitely think twice about doing something, including being authentic, if there is a chance of some sort of punishment. Eg I will lose something/one. Job, relationship, etc.
- Do you want to be this way? If so, why? If not, why not?
I in point of fact do not want to live in constant fear of losing out and therefore missing out on being me if nothing else.
- How might you exercise your risk muscle? What would push your comfort zone without freaking you out?
Letting go for a day. Just doing "me" and not caring if I upset or offended anyone. Doing just what I wanted to do.
I feel good that she mentions that it's okay to play it a little safe and have a safety net. For me I think the safety net will be accepting work I'm trained to do while I get the training I want, build my businesses, and fully shape my dream. It's not to say that by accepting this work I'm giving up or putting it off "yet again" but said, to help myself (and my family out) now I'll do this while I do these other things.
I see that I am self-sabotaging myself. I know I have a lot of paperwork to do to get my business legal, entering receipts, writing up my business plans, doing all that "boring, math" stuff. So I have put off doing it choosing to be diverted with projects only. There isn't anything wrong with being creative, but it's no good to the detriment of laying a good foundation which will afford me time to be 100% creative all the time and only minimally have to do the "boring" stuff.
Stop procrastinating, cultivate "stick to itiveness", and letting go of baggage all strike me. As I've just said I know I'm procrastinating doing some work I need to because it's not "fun". I also feel scattered and want to do a million things so my energy is stretched to thin to focus properly. I also have put off things for years, and had many a loved one convince me that my dreams were a waste of time.
As I read the article about getting out of your own way I have a thought. I think part of the problem I was having is that I was viewing my work/job all wrong. The view I held has had my job as interfering with my life's work. Now in reality it really was doing that, but I never did anything to give myself a break either so it continued to do that even when it didn't have to. I could have worked a different span of time, different days or hours. Instead I just accepted what I was given without asking for what I needed.
The bottom line though is that dreams aside (yes I hate to say that but listen with me for a moment) I have to survive. I have bills to pay, debts to get paid, and things I want now and in the future. I don't have any money in the bank or any saved or stashed anywhere so there is no option to just do nothing but what I want (with it paying as little and as infrequently as it is right now). As Tama mentions in her book, it's okay to work in the meantime to survive, just as long as you keep working towards your dream.
I definitely need to identify my limiting beliefs. I think right now some of the excuses are that I don't have the money to do what I need/want to do and I don't have the time. I don't have the money because I haven't been attracting it - by not working and by having thoughts of lack. I don't have the time because while I do work doggedly on some things I also get into ruts and put things off, losing several days (= several hours) of work time on many things, I put more on my plate than can be achieved in a short period of time, and I am not in touch with my time like I could be. I know that as soon as I finish this e-course (or maybe before) I need to get to reading the Excuses Begone book finally. I have had it for years now, know it will help, and yet...keep procrastinating, as though I don't want to dissolve these excuses/limiting beliefs.
Acknowledgement and compassion with oneself about things is vital. Recognize your fears and what is holding you back, how you may be making things harder and then correct it on the spot with a positive thought/affirmation/action.
Reading Lissa's article about getting out of your own way gives me hope. I can really hear her sitting with me telling me that I can do this, that I can make this happen. It's encouraging and heartwarming.
Tama's article about risk hits to the point. There is no life without any risk. To just do what you're told ends you up with the risk that you lived an unfulfilled life, then what?
I know for sure if I don't pursue my dreams I'll die a little inside everyday. I'd kick myself everyday too for listening to all those Gremlins. I'd feel I wasted so much of my life because I started something I didn't finish. I'd hate myself for it.
What might happen...I might have to work a job I hate in the meantime (but to be able to put it aside for my real dreams and calling is worth the small inconvenience of dealing with it now). I might have to take less than I deserve in order to make sure the necessary things are taken care of. But I can survive this way, I can keep my creativity and dreams alive.
I seriously echo Lissa's sentiment in the last article about wishing I hadn't taken so long to get here...
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