I think I knew I was being called because every day I went to work or school even and I got nothing out of it. I've known this for awhile now but I resisted it the whole way through, telling myself, no no, this is what I'm supposed to do because it's expected of me. When really I was denying my truth and what I longed to do.
My calling to me has shown up in various ways by "what I always seems to end up doing" - caring for others, counseling, and helping others. My ridiculous amount of patience, my attraction of those who need my help, and the opportunities, as well as hardships, that have made me this type of healer...
Continuing my reading it goes on to say that you don't choose your calling and that sometimes it isn't what you want to do but the work will just keep coming up. This causes me to have a little mini revelation...I have commented on a number of times that I seem to attract people, people who need counseling, who need help. I have even discussed this with a fellow healer & sister Witch. And I know all too well that ignoring the call is a bad idea because it will just get louder and more persistent until I stop fighting it. So how can I look at these people I bring into my life and heal them or learn from them so I can heal myself and others???
What is calling me???
I counsel and heal people. I make art that is spiritually oriented and uplifting and useful (at times, sometimes it's just neat to look at :p ). I have decided that holistic nursing will help with the healing side of the equation, but for the counseling I'm not sure how to make that happen yet. I'm already a minister and do a bit of spiritual counseling, but I want to help other people find their way - so life coaching is something to do, but also helping other people deal with their emotions, especially since I'm so empathic - like depression, anger, and grief I think would be something I'd want to do. I think mostly adults for this venture, or women, I'm not sure about that.
What really matters to me???
Health & wellness. Realizing one's potential, and being in touch with your Self. I would urge people to know themselves intimately and clearly. To cast off the illusions other people and they put on themselves and for them to see themselves as they really are without judging. I would urge people (as I do already) to get to know why something is in their life before they go and kick it to the curb. (As I believe there is a lesson in everything and to just dismiss something we feel is "negative" means we don't learn our lesson.)
I definitely see some of the signs of my calling and while not 100% of it is clear some parts definitely are.
It's funny...I'm reading the last article for this chapter and I suddenly recall that I had a male cardinal chirping quite loudly outside my door yesterday. I meant to look up the meaning of him as a symbol and completely "blanked out" on the messenger. I will be sure to do that and even note anything of import here...
The first thing that sticks out to me about Cardinal's messages is this one: that of owning one's self importance. I know I diminish myself a lot, making light of what I do and the impact I make because I'm only one person with little to no "formal" training. But that doesn't mean I don't know anything, or that my thoughts aren't important. The fact that this little bird was red and male also says something about his message to me - red is a color of vitality, strength, blood, and fire. The masculine energies are typically seen as directive and assertive. This encourages me to strive forward with purpose and "fire in my belly" in an assertive fashion instead of acting meekly as I have been. While I'm sure it was a male I saw, the energy of the Cardinal in general also encourages the assertion of the feminine aspects of creativity and intuition more strongly. I think these forces are naturally acting out in me however as I've been inspired both intuitively and creatively lately so I just need to keep listening to those things and "go with them". Cardinal has signals about noting one's diet and that has also been coming up to me a lot lately. I wish to do a cleansing after I give birth, kind of getting started anew and preparing for a new phase - not just mommyhood, but also the embracing of me nurturing other things (like myself and my dream and it's realization). The sharing of tasks in the parenting department is also an important message too. My SO and I need to equally share and help one another out in the raising of our child for him to get the best upbringing I believe. And the final message of import...that everything you do is of importance. Again this speaks of recognizing and honoring one's self worth. But also not to take for-granted the little things too. Definitely food for thought!
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